So once we got home I got monkey laid down for a nap. While I was laying with him I was browsing on my phone on Facebook and came across Bretts page (Kolton's bio dad). I see now where he is engaged. Funny. The funniest part is he is serving our country in Iraq, which leads me to believe that he is home on R&R.
So I click on her profile. All to see a picture... I have to share this picture. She has a kid and this is the picture that I so dreadfully did not want to see...
For those of you that aren't aware, that is not my lil monkey. That is Brett and her child. My son has just a couple of pictures of him and Brett. He never interacted with Kolton. This for me was so horrible. My blood just started to boil. I know that he has signed over all his rights to my lil monkey, but seeing Brett being a father to this child is so hard for me. Maybe I shouldn't have looked. But I am the idiot that continues to let Brett back in our lives. He contacted me here while back and sent a letter to Kolton while he was in Iraq. Of course we still have not received that letter. He contacted me the other day via Facebook asking for my mailing address to send Kolton some stuff. Thing is he knows nothing about my Monkey. He has never been around. But I so desperately want my son to have a father I continue to allow this. All to be hurt. It pains me to see that Brett is having moments with someone else's child that he has not even attempted to have with his own child.
All of this makes me wonder. Did he relinquish his rights to Monkey because of child support (that he was not paying), because of his medical issues, because of his last wife, because of not wanting to be a parent, because I was a bitch? I really do not know. I can say this, none of those are valid reasons to abandon your son. All this and the army still has no clue of what he has done.
I would like to share Brett's bio from his facebook: "i am 22 i really think my life is going pretty good have a great family i have a boy who is 3 his name is kolton thats a story in its own but he is a great boy and i love him. i got the most amazing future wife i could ever ask for her name is britt i love her to death and our son haylen i love that boy as if he was mine and im just doing my time in the army till i get out and until then i will enjoy life." It is so hard for me to understand why he is not a father to the child that he helped conceive. This is probably something that I will never understand since it is hard for me to open my big mouth since Brett's mom (g-ma) and myself have gotten so far within our relationship, and hers and Monkeys relationship has gotten so much better as well. I do not want to risk their relationship; however, when do I say something.
Shouldn't Brett be attempting to see his own son during his R&R. I do not understand how he can say that he loves this lil boy as if he was his own, when he doesn't do anything for his own child. But at the end of the day by the law he doesn't have a son. But yet I continue to allow him to try to make connections with my son. At the end of the day he has seen him for 2 hours of his life, talked to him twice via phone... And well that is it. So I do not really know why this affects me so much. I know I want brett to be there for my Monkey. However, I wish he was really there, with out all of the excuses, and not because he fell in love with another woman's child and wants to have another chance with his own. But I guess life is never fair. So that is all for now as I am so upset.
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